


The Drive

by TheBiophone



Category: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Stromae (Musician)
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, F/M, Theft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 00:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBiophone/pseuds/TheBiophone
Summary: A night’s drive.





	The Drive

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is a work of fiction based on fictional characters. The Jemaine in this fic is based on HBO!Jemaine. To wit, this fic is about Clemaine and Andréa, not Clement and Paul. If I've tagged "Jemaine Clement", it's because the Clemaine tag is virtually unpopulated, and I want hits. Are we cool? We're cool.
> 
> Originally posted at: https://fouxdufafa.tumblr.com/post/177610024456/the-drive

In the shadows of a cool city’s night, a tall, elegant figure walked into the police station.

“I’m here for Mr. Clemaine,” she told the officer at the desk.

The officer looked through some files. “Jemaine Clemaine?” she asked.

“Yes,” the first woman answered.

“Follow me,” the officer said, getting up. They walked down a row of cells. In the last one sat Jemaine, his head hung low.

“Clemaine,” the officer said. Jemaine raised his head. “You have a visitor.”

“Andréa…,” Jemaine murmured.

“This is hardly the place for a diplomat to be,” Andréa said.

“‘Diplomat’?” the officer repeated.

“Yes,” Andréa replied. “Show her your card, Jemaine.”

Jemaine got up and took the cheap card Murray had made him out of his pocket. He showed it to the officer. She looked at it with some skepticism, but in the end, she said, “Alright. You’re free to go.” She opened the cell door and watchfully let Jemaine out.

He and Andréa walked silently down the hall and out of the building. They both got into the latter’s car. That’s when the silence was broken.

“That was so stupid of you,” Andréa said.

“You don’t even know what I did!” Jemaine said.

“Whatever it was, I’m sure it was stupid,” Andréa replied.

Jemaine mumbled, “I was trying to get Bret’s guitar back from a thief.”

Andréa rolled her eyes. “It’s always Bret, isn’t it?” she asked. “You’re always doing all sorts of ridiculous things for him. Can’t Bret fight his own battles?”

“I can’t let my little mate go it alone,” Jemaine replied.

Andréa sighed. She would ask her lover to choose between her and Bret, but she knew who would win that one.

“You have always been remarkably loyal,” she said. “It’s possible that it might make you a little bit different from the others.”

Jemaine paused and then asked, “So, are we cool, then?”

Swallowing whatever reply she may have had to give to that question, Andréa said simply, “You can stay at my place for tonight. You shouldn’t be roaming your apartment building at two in the morning.”

“It wouldn’t exactly be ‘roaming’,” Jemaine said. “It’s just taking the elevator and then….”

The car stopped at a traffic light. Andréa looked Jemaine right in the eyes, jade bearing into emerald. Her expression was a bit softer than her talk had let on. “Please,” she said. “I really think it would be best if you stayed with me for the night.”

Feeling his lover’s softness, Jemaine said, “Yeah, okay. I guess that could… work.”

“Of course it could,” Andréa said. She started driving again.

“Wait a minute,” Jemaine said. “I never got Bret’s guitar back.”

Andréa bit her lip.  _Men…._  “Couldn’t you file a police report?” she asked.

“Well, yeah, I guess,” Jemaine replied. “It wouldn’t get Bret’s guitar back, though. At least, not right away. We need it to perform at gigs ‘n’ stuff.”

“Don’t you have that friend who could help you out?” Andréa asked. “You know, that Dave or whomever.”

Jemaine cocked his head. “That’s true,” he said. “Oh, but we don’t have the money to buy a new guitar. Well, a used guitar. A new, used guitar. Those’re… expensive.”

It took Andréa a moment to form her next phrase. She took a deep breath. Then, she said, “Pay me back.”

“What?” Jemaine said.

“I’ll give you the money, and you can pay me back,” she said. Her gaze was fixed ahead, not daring to look aside.

Jemaine’s tired face lit up. “Really?” he asked. “You’d do that for us?”

A sharp, sigh-like breath left Andréa’s nose. “Yes,” she said.

“Awww, thank you, Andréa,” Jemaine cooed.

“Don’t make anything big of it,” Andréa replied. The two sat in silence for a brief moment. Then, Andréa said, “Wrap your arm around mine.”

“Huh?” Jemaine grunted.

“I just…,” the woman trailed off. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to justify it. “You look like you could use it.”

Jemaine did what Andréa said. When he did, he could feel Andréa hooking him in more closely. Slowly, the man leaned his head on the woman’s shoulder. The woman adjusted her posture very gently to allow for it.

With nothing but the street lamps lighting the way, the pair drove off in complete silence.

**Author's Note:**

> Fired: Andréa/Jo Calderone  
> Wired: Andréa/Jemaine Clemaine
> 
> (dw, I love the concept of Andréa/Jo Calderone, too)
> 
> Anyway, for anyone who might remember me, I'm tentatively back on Ao3, though I'm more disgusted by the site's permission of child porn than ever (as though that's possible).


End file.
